Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
