I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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