We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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