Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
