we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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