it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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