He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
