super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
