I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
