Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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