Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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