Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize