You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
