maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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