you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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