The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
