Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
