just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
