Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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