so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
