Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I want a musical about memes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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