ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
