Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
