Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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