**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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