It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
