i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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