Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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