before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize