you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
