Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
