Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
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Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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