I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
honey bunches of taint.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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