thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
