how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
