i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
