no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
