Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
