This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
