Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
