Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
