This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
