What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
