How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
