I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
