and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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