left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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