bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
