That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
