I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
vagina is talking i cant
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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