that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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