the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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