you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
