As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
