Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
