The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
