how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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