just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
