handjob tips. give me some.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize