why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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