The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
