pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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